Cokesbeenshaken - Despite the announcement last week of the Abominable Snowman's appearance at this month's conference on global warming, it now appears that he won't be attending after all. But the story is even more bizarre than you might think.

Its started when a small group of the furry hominids showed up yesterday morning, prepared to deliver a 15 speech on the state of the environment, but were turned away at the door. "It does not matter who the creature is," said one of the security officers involved, "The sign says 'no shoes, no service,' and that's what the sign means."

The misunderstanding, which led to the removal of the Yeti, the Bigfoot of Eurasia, is the simple fact that these creatures do not wear shoes, and would be rather hard-put to find off-the-shelf version that would fit. An expensive and lengthy investigation is expected to get buried under miles of red tape and never surface again.

Under the agreement that he be left nameless, one prominent guard sitting just to left of the door stated, "And they had an awful, animal smell. You would think these guys lived their whole life outside of the civilization. Come on guys, take a bath and put on some deodorant."

As of this release, no contact had been made with Yeti of their representatives.