The body of The Grinch was discovered early this morning in a wooded area near WhoVille. He was 43 years of age. The Grinch was a brief media sensation following an attempt to steal Christmas from the residents of WhoVille in the 60’s. The incident was made into a made-for-television movie, making The Grinch a short-lived celebrity. But in recent years, The Grinch had fallen on hard times, and was prone to heavy drinking and bouts of rage, according to some WhoVille residents. Many Who in WhoVille were also angry that The Grinch was given just a slap on the wrist for the grand larceny. “He should have been thrown in jail, not sensationalized,” shouted one enraged Who, who preferred to remain anonymous.

Investigators combed the area where the body was discovered for clues. One investigator was observed rushing from the body, kneeling over, retching and shouting, “My God, they castrated him!”  He was reassured by his partner, “No, no, The Grinch never had any testicles in the first place.” A similar outburst occurred in response to the appearance of his face and color. “No, no, he was always green and ugly. How about you go take a break, OK?” suggested his partner, shortly before removing a Christmas tree from the Grinch’s ass. “Wow, good thing he’s not here. This would have really freaked him the hell out,” snorted the second investigator before adding, “Oh, there’s the star….man, that had to hurt!”

Investigators believe someone in WhoVille murdered The Grinch….but they don’t know who.  “Frankly, it has to be a Who…the only people that live out in this backwater neck of the woods are all these Who over there and...until recently...the deceased  here,” gestured the FBI spokesman.  But, Which Who in WhoVille is the culprit? It is most likely someone who still harbors a grudge over that Christmas Theft in 1966. “A lot of Whos are still pissed over that,” said one Who, who was a mere child when the theft occurred. According to some witnesses, The Grinch had been drinking more heavily than usual for the past few weeks, and threatening to REALLY steal Christmas this time and shove it off a cliff. “No one took him that seriously, but still, it was kind of creepy.” Anyone with information leading to the arrest and conviction of the Who who murdered The Grinch, please call 555-555-5555. Remember, you can remain anonymous.  Whoever you are.